How changing my perspective is making my life easier…

We all been there… getting stuck in traffic, someone not doing what you want them to do, getting a lower than expected evaluation on something, losing money on an investment, or getting the flu. It can be annoying and it can seem like the world is coming to an end. Right now, let’s focus on some of these mundane issues—rather than some larger issues like divorce, serious disability, or a major setback. It is often the daily hassles that drive us insane and without noticing it all comes from our perspective!

I tell you a little story of my own…this year I have caught myself loosing my cool a few times. Phrases like these: “I can’t believe that this is happening”…”This is awful”…”I can’t stand it” and “Why is this always happening to me?” have run through my mind and mouth quite a few times. However, tan tan ♬ …something shifted. I caught myself scrolling somewhere in the “hole of social media” and saw a quote  that said “If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it” by Mary Engelbreit. My mind and heart stop and I realize I need to do an effort and put things in perspective and take the fuel and flame out of my responses to everyday events.

So, here we are now! I’m telling you I FEEL AWESOME! Changing my perspective on things have help me a lot. However, this doesn’t mean I’m inventing excuses for events. For example, for that friend that stoop me up. I’m now seeing things more clear. A friend that stoop me up= he didn’t care as much as I did.*this is all fictional, but you get the point. 

Here are some valuable tips that are helping me shift my perspective:

Stand back and observe —don’t judge. We usually upset ourselves about our interpretations of events rather than what really happened. So before acting, reflect. A good tip is to write down what happened without your judgments. For example, “I am stuck in traffic for ten minutes”, “The waiter brought me the wrong dessert”, or “My friend stoop me up”. Then, think about how extreme your response may be to these simple events. Suspend judgment and just become an observer. By observing you detach. This reduces stress at least 80%.

How will you feel about this in a week, month, or year? We are often hijacked by our over-reaction in the present moment. And then we forget about it the next day. This is often what happens in people in relationships—people risk dissolving a long-term relationship based on something that seems absurd two days later. If you see your intense feelings disappear with time, then give it time. Be patient. This, too, will pass.

Think about the event as an inconvenience. It would be nice if everything went your way –but the world is not constructed that way. Rather than label it as awful, a disaster, or something you can’t tolerate, think about it as a minor inconvenience. It would be nice if people didn’t focus on their text-messages when talking to you, but it is an inconvenience and preference—not a necessity.

Listen and pay attention to you and other people around you when you react with such intensity. For example, are you infuriated by small frustrations? Anxious about the uncertainty of simple, mundane events? You may be making yourself anxious and angry and making other people feel worse by the intensity of your responses. Fortunately, this can change. You can reduce your stress by seeing things in perspective.

There is a lot more, of course, but I try to keep the above in mind—especially when dealing with difficult situations and people so I thought I would share them. It helps me learn about my own large ego, have better insight into what is causing my stress, and be better able to put things in perspective to avoid stress.

Also, a good tip: follow and stay in touch with good people doing great things. It really makes my day and inspires me to not just see the darkness but also all the good that is going on in this world. What a blessing they are to me and my continual need to maintain a healthy perspective.

Have a great week!

xoxo,

Cristina