What you want from me?…

“What you want from me?” I asked you without your knowing. (Pause) I’ve wondered on the streets of New York and I know it’s getting colder. The smell, the air, the sun, the people changed. I’m changing as well. I know myself, but don’t know enough. I’m not finding myself, I’m creating myself. So, far so good. I danced my nights away. I drink cheap beer during the nights and listen to music all day long. I wonder, I stop and I think. I talk to my best friend about society and what they want from us! We don’t care, but we care. We are rebels, we want fun, we want everything, but we are attached. I think again… the only thing I do.

I think about you, about you all the time. I think about me much more. I need to stop. (Pause) I walk the streets almost everyday and someone wants my number. “Hey you, you are so pretty.” What can they offer? Blah. The compliments had become part of my daily life, but I am not caring nor listening to them that much. For me all I have now will fade away within few years. I would remember those summers in New York, my youth, my wants, my love affairs, my nights with friends and I would remember the best time of my life. Yeah, good times.I love this city, this city has taken my heart and soul. I don’t know if I can live without New York, but I know one day I must… I want so much to learn italian, pack my bags and eat pasta, drink wine and dress like a princess in an old vineyard in Florence. Yeah, my parents will miss me so much, but I’m used to miss the best part of me. I know a few more hours of difference will damage no one. We should all live together…oh wait no. Sometimes the best relationships are better preserved from afar.

And now… there you are. You’re different from others. The way you look at me… you are so tempting. “What do you want from me?”, I asked you without your knowing. You want me to touch your hair before falling asleep? You want me to touch or lay on your chest so you feel like a better man? Sweet words after a rough day? I don’t know what you want, but I will give some part of me. The part that is not broken. I will pretend for a while that I love you and you will pretend that you love me. Why not? Let’s play that game. Maybe we do fall in love, maybe not. Are you ready to get hurt again? Ha, ha. Don’t worry, baby, I won’t harm you. I’m just going to show you a good time. I will share what I know. I will read your books, I will be so positive that you will think, if she for real? But no, I’m not happy all the time… behind this happy face, there’s a mind that wonders way to much. A soul that gets sad every now and then. While you look at me thinking who knows what, I will be thinking about the fake Pollock in your wall, about changing my watch, about cleaning my clothes, about what new single is out and you may think my thoughts may belong to you, but hey, sometimes there are nights when it’s cold, when I need love, when I’m sad and I will be needing you. At the end, we all need each other.

Stop expecting and start enjoying the moment…

Thanks for reading!

xoxo,

Cristina

Ps. Mixing life with fiction. 🙂