What is compassion?
If we search the word “Compassion” in Google you will see various meanings, but all with the same idea: “sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it”; “a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering”; “compassion motivates people to go out of their way to help the physical, spiritual, or emotional pains of another and themselves”; and so on.
As the world keeps crumbling with disasters, health problems, politic structures, stress and mental illness being compassionate to others is sadly the trait of a small % of our population. We live in a world where a news story is the best thing for a short 2 minutes and where the life we live is better to document than to express it.
Some facts…
I have seen so many videos of people getting mistreated in public and no one is helping, that I wonder to what extent we detach ourselves from what’s important. Many of us suffer from this – “If no one else is helping, why should you?”, called bystander effect – is a social psychological phenomenon in which individuals are less likely to offer help to a victim when other people are present. So sad, but true. (Read more below)
A recent study from Berkeley psychologists Paul Piff and Dacher Keltner prove that having few resources would lead to selfishness. “Piff and his colleagues suspect that the answer may have something to do with how wealth and abundance give us a sense of freedom and independence from others. The less we have to rely on others, the less we may care about their feelings. This leads us towards being more self-focused.”
Of course we can’t blame a whole society because they are wealthy or because mentally they can’t deal with an unfair situation, but makes you think, right? — In short, if we are in a good place in our lives, financially and mentally, it’s a very easy route to detach yourself for those who are grieving.
“Our human compassion binds us the one to the other – not in pity or patronizingly, but as human beings who have learnt how to turn our common suffering into hope for the future.” Nelson Mandela
What can we do to be more compassionate towards others? Here are 3 tips:
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- Start with you – Having self-compassion and not beating yourself up for imperfection. Self-compassion creates a caring space within you that is free of judgment—a place that sees your hurt and your failures and softens to allow those experiences with kindness and caring. The more you open your heart to this reality instead of constantly fighting against it, the more you will be able to feel compassion for yourself and all your fellow humans in the experience of life.
- Practice mindfulness – Mindfulness meditation involves guided contemplation as a way to focus the mind. It commonly entails sitting in a quiet space for periods ranging from 20 minutes to an hour (depending on your level of advancement) and learning to guide awareness to the current moment rather than dwell upon what has been or is yet to come. Another research, also suggest that mindfulness’s most profound benefit may not be the one that’s most often touted—adapting to a stressful, competitive, even unkind 24/7 world. Instead, meditation might fundamentally alter how we treat those around us.
- The small things that matter– do random acts of kindness: smiling at a stranger, sending a “thinking of you” message to a friend going through a tough time, simply being fully present with people you love, saying thank you and please – “No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”
Countless scientific studies show that compassion doesn’t merely help those who receive the compassion. Practicing compassion makes us happier and healthier. It strengthens relationships, creates communities and fosters world peace. Let’s start 1, 2, 3….
Thanks for reading! Hope your world is full with hope, compassion and love.
Best,
Cristina Marie
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Articles to Read:
Meditation Increases Compassionate Responses to Suffering
