What is the difference between dating and being in a serious relationship?

A topic was brought to my attention (thanks to my lovely bff, Rebeca) about the difference between dating, relationship and a serious relationship. Of all the people I know, I don’t know if I’m the most qualified to talk about this topic, but I’m going to try my best. Here it goes:

Dating

Situation: Girls meets Boy, Boy meets Girl. Boy ask Girl out. Girl says “yes” and they go out on a few dates. After the 1st date they probably can know if they want to continue seeing each other. Let’s say, they say yes. So, on the next dates they’re getting to know each other more. They talk about their personal life, goals, family and friends. What is happening here? They’re dating!

For what purpose people date? People date so that they can get to know one another. They may be attracted to each other and they’re taking this time to find out if they have common interests and goals. Also, they date to see if they can establish a relationship, right? For me that’s dating. Otherwise than this, is what? Friendship or maybe “just having fun, nothing serious”. In the dating process you begin to know a person well, you start feeling something more than “just friends”, maybe you can see a “more serious future” with this person or simply nothing more. This is the perfect time to say: “I don’t want a relationship, but I still can hangout with you.” Is up to you to choose what type of relationship you’re willing to settle.

It’s there rules for dating? I read about rules for dating and is quite interesting and I’m not going to name them. Every person is different. Some people take things slow and others more quick..varies between couples. I don’t think you should stick to rules when you really like someone and the feeling is mutual.

I do believe on this: Don’t date friends, don’t date people with baggage, don’t date people who are in a serious relationship, don’t date someone who just want to “have fun” with you and nothing serious (unless you only want to have fun and nothing serious). Do date someone who shares your same point of view on relationships, date someone who cares about you and that genuinely wants to get to know you. Also, dating is more carefree and if you don’t like the person is more easy to say “ciao” and move on: next!

A relationship – Exclusive dating

After dating for a while and getting to know each other…two people agree to have a relationship. Now they can tell everybody they’re together (whatever!). Basically they do the same things they do on the “dating phase”. They go out, have fun and enjoy each other company. They only thing that change is that they can call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. Other than that is almost the same shit as dating only they have a label and feel more secure about each other’s feelings. This also means: not seeing, dating, or sleeping with anyone else but one person, however this doesn’t have to lead to engagement and marriage.

A serious relationship

For me a serious relationship is the one that you are committed to. This means: same as above except there is an expectation that the relationship can go on to another level, aka engagement and marriage. If you have problems or get into a fight you cannot run, you have to compromise. People involved in a serious relationship agreed to have a serious relationship with each other. This means that they are very involved with each other and they see and talk to each other often. People in serious relationships also often move in with each other or spend the night at the other person’s house often. They share the same values and are looking forward to spend the rest of their lives together.

What is the difference?

Usually dating leads to exclusive relationship and then to a serious relationship. It’s like that when two people really like each other and start developing strong feelings. Sometimes it’s the other way around… people just gets stuck on the dating phase and they don’t take anything serious. While dating is less serious and carefree.. serious relationships are more compromising and committed.

Monogamous– While dating you can be “seeing” more people at the same time while serious relationship you are committed to one person. People involved in a serious relationship are very involved with each other and they see and talk to each other often. For people involved in casual dating, the level of seriousness is much lower. The two people do not tell each other everything and may talk daily, but most likely they don’t. Some couples who are dating casually may see each other every day or week, while others may go a month or longer without seeing each other or talking.

Fun- A lot of people who engage in casual dating do so for the fun of it. It allows them to have someone to hang out with and go places with, without requiring a commitment to the person. It lets people be friends without anything more. Being in a serious relationship also offers fun to couples. Couples in this type of relationship can find hobbies they enjoy doing together and offers each person someone to hang out with.

Intimacy- Couples in both types of relationship are often sexually active. Casual daters often have sexual relations with the people they are casually dating, but also may have relations with other people as well. Casual dating is often called having “friends with benefits” (be careful here). When a couple is involved in a serious relationship, they also might be sexually active. The difference is that the couple is monogamous and should only be having these relations with each other and no one else.

Wow, I’m so exhausted writing about this! I may need a few cocktails, maybe with a cute date haha !!! At the end you choose what is best for you and always be honest with the other one in terms of what are you looking for.

Have a good day and good luck out there! 🙂

xoxo,

Cristina