How amazing is it that human beings have the power to express how we feel at any given moment. Imagine if you couldn’t cry, laugh, or be excited? How weird would it be not being able to show any emotions? Although many people will prefer to suppress some feelings, I can’t imagine being in a world without expressing all my feelings.
For as long as I know society has divided feelings as positive and negative.
For example, feelings of sadness, angriness, anxiety, frustration area attribute to be negative for you and well-being. Although I acknowledge the scientific facts that some feelings can cause harm in our psychical and mental health; I also, recognize that is important to not suppress our feelings because it’s been taught that we should think this way.
Who invented this anyways?
There’s so many influences to this way of thinking. For example, the 21th century came with so many changes in the fields of finance, communications and health. For example, the birth of social media opened a tunnel of posibilites of how we interact with others and how we see ourselves. We became more self-aware of the outside opinions, we have cultivated a false sense of reality, we’ve become more obsess with being liked and we’ve created the illusion that we are more valuable by the likes of others, which inflate our ideal self-image.
Another example, is the the positive movement rooted from the Positive Psychology. Where some charlatans are taking the concept to monetize themself selling positive functioning as “self-help gurus,” rather than evidence-based practitioners and researchers. The worst, most people buy it!
It has pressured us to stop feeling the way we are and only think positive thoughts. In The Negative Side of Positive Psychology, Barbara Held (2004) writes: “…our professional culture is saturated with the view that we must think positive thoughts, we must cultivate positive emotions and attitudes, and we must play to our strengths to be happy, healthy, and wise”.
She goes on to say: The tyranny of the positive attitude lies in its adding insult to injury.
If people feel bad about life’s many difficulties and they cannot manage to transcend their pain no matter how hard they try (to learn optimism), they could end up feeling even worse; they could feel guilty or defective for not having the right (positive) attitude, in addition to whatever was ailing them in the first place (Held, p.12).
How to change our view? Choose a wholeness approach, instead.
As human beings we come with a set of emotions and we have the capacity to think about the past, present and future. In the animal world we are the only species able to do that! It’s not only an amazing attribute, but a wonderful gift. We can feel however we wish in any situation. Yes, you have this right- YOU have the power!
Nowadays, it has been refreshing seeing people sharing their full self with the world. I feel that people are awakening (thank you Universe, I’ve been waiting for this!). We don’t need to constantly show we are perfect to the world! If you have a voice out there share it all. Be true, be honest and be yourself–not for anyone’s liking.
It is quite appropriate to feel anything you wish, and regardless we will be OK. Instead of merely trying to be “positive”, let’s instead lean into stressed, anxious and afraid parts of ourselves. Allow them to have a voice and let’s find some supportive ways to cope with and process those emotions instead of labeling as bad, trying to turn them off, or trying to make them go away.
I wish you health and peace your way~~~
Best,
Cristina
PS- Inspired by a post in Instagram in the Chalk Board Mag– a guide of living well.
Interest in the subject? Read this: The Oppression of Positive Movement
