Generally speaking we disregard discomfort and fear from any form as bad news. We automatically hate them and run like crazy. We use all kinds of ways to escape- all addictions stem from this moment when we meet our edge and we just can’t stand it. But for practitioners or spirit warriors-people who have hunger to know what is true- feelings like disappointment, irritation by triggers, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear, instead of being bad news, are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that we’re holding back.
They are like messengers that show us, with terrifying clarity, exactly where we’re stuck. This very moment is the perfect teacher. Those events and people in our lives who trigger our unresolved issues could be regarded as good news.
Reaching our limit is not some kind of punishment.It’s actually a sign to stop struggling and look directly at what’s threatening us. Things like disappointment and anxiety are messengers telling us that we’re about to go intro unknown territory.
What evokes hope, triggers, and fear from me is different from what brings it up for you. My friend completely loses it when she has to move to a new place. My neighbor is afraid of heights. I trigger when I’m restless. It doesn’t really matter what causes us to reach our limit. The point is that sooner or later it happens to all of us.
Here a story…
Trungpa Rinpoche, a meditation master, gave a class to a group of fourth graders who asked him a lot about growing up in Tibet and escaping from the Chinese Communist into India. One boy asked him if he was ever afraid. Rinpoche answered that his teacher had encouraged him to go to places like graveyards that scared him and to experiment with approaching things he didn’t like. The he told a story about traveling with his attendants to a monastery he’s never seen before.
As they neared the gates, he saw a large guard dog with huge teeth and red eyes. It was growling ferociously and struggling to get free from the chains. As Rinpoche got closer, he could see its bluish tongue and spittle spraying from its mouth. They walked past the dog, keeping distance, and entered the gate. Suddenly the chain broke and the dog rushed them. The attendants screamed and froze in terror. Rinpoche turned and ran as fast as he could-straight at the dog. The dog was surprised that he put his tail between his legs and ran away.
So, how we work our mind when we reach our limit? When things are out of hand causing us fear and triggers?
Rather than indulge or reject our experience, we can somehow let the energy of the emotion, the quality of what we’re feeling, pierce us to the heart. This is easier said than done, but it’s a noble way to live. It’s definitely the path of compassion- the path of cultivating human bravery and kindheartedness.
Here is a simply practice…
- First step, stop for a moment and acknowledge whatever arises without judgment, letting thoughts simple dissolve, and then going back to openness of this very moment.
- Second step, release those thoughts, let them go.
- Third step, come back to just being here- bring your mind back home. In here you will see situations more clearly and relax. Before reacting and acting, it’s better to relax and react.
After a while, that’s how we relate with hope and fear in our daily lives. Out of nowhere, we stop struggling and relax. We stop talking to ourselves and come back to freshness of the present moment. This is something that evolves gradually, patiently, over time. I would say it takes the rest of our lives.
Basically, we’re opening further, learning more, connecting further with depths of human suffering and human wisdom, coming to know both elements thoroughly and completely, and becoming more loving and compassionate people.
If you practice meditation, you will learn to master our experience, whatever it is. That very moment of clarity will be the perfect teacher, and it’s always with us. This is your tool. Just seeing what’s going on-that’s the teaching right there.
Awakeness is found in our pleasure and our pain, our confusion and our wisdom, available in each moment of our weird, unfathomable, ordinary everyday lives.
Hope this helps, as is helping me. The teachings above were learn by reading Pema Chödrön, an American Tibetan Buddhist.
xoxo, Cristina
