Robert has fought for the attention of Claudia for the past weeks. Robert knows Claudia likes Joe. Robert still wants Claudia and the more he fights to attain her love the farthest she moves away from him. Why Roberts likes the girl he clearly knows he can’t have? Robert simply likes the challenge, and he thinks he got this (challenge accepted!). In the other end, Claudia doesn’t like a guy who is too easy and too available.
Since we are little kids we are always fighting for the things we can’t have. Our parents told us “don’t touch that painting” and there we go touching the painting and if it was impossible we start crying like maniacs. The more “no” “you can’t do it”, “it’s impossible”, the more we want it. Why? I asked a group of friends and they told me this:
- “We don’t like easy things because easy things are boring. We like challenges.”
- It’s human nature because we are greedy and we want it all. We do it since we are kids.”
- “A false sense of being “complete”, the sense of power a person can get by “achievement”. The game, the challenge.”
They are right…So, if it’s on our human nature I question: How can we separated ourselves from the things we really want of the things that we are just pursuing for the sake of it- to win the challenge?
Here are a few questions you can ask yourself before pursuing something that maybe is not good for you. Sharing them:
Love
Does this person makes you feels the same way you feel about them? If not, why are you wasting your time where you can be meeting a better match? – If you clearly know they don’t like you, don’t waste your time..move on! Don’t be a masochist.
Do you feel happier pursuing someone who is difficult to have in you life? Do you like the not receiving a text or a call back? Do you like to be a second choice? Hell no.. You deserve someone who wants to know about you. That cares for you and where you are a priority in their life.
Career
Does the job you are pursuing has everything you been dreaming for your career path? You have to match the way you want to live your life to the job you are applying. Picture if this job is a good fit for your lifestyle. Don’t get it to have a status or prove something to someone.
Does this job brings you financial and emotional stability? Don’t take a job just for the money, take a job you really love, where you find yourself content with what you do and where you feel emotionally stable.
Friendships
Are you the only person fighting for this relationship? If you feel you are seeking their attention more than them I say take a break and go out and meet new people who are easy-going where you feel you don’t have to fight for anything.
Do you feel you always the person contacting the other and always caring more than your friend? This goes with every relationship in your life. If you feel your putting more energy and time than the other person it is time to step back and let them miss you, let them do their work too. Relationships are 100%-100%.
Bonus: Do you really need another scoop of ice cream? Yes, always yes! haha
These are a few examples I want to give yourself. If we are conditioned to be this way, we have to put the work and open our eyes and balance the good and the bad in every situation and know what is best for us. Winning the challenge of having something that is unavailable doesn’t mean we actually want it. So, when you have another situation where you find that things aren’t running that smoothly and your hard work is not being value… stop…think… and make a better decision for yourself.
Have a good day!
xoxo,
Cristina
