The underlying point of all studies and practices is that the happiness we seek is here to connect with at any time. The happiness we seek is our birthright. To discover it we need to be more gentle with ourselves, more compassionate toward ourselves and our universe.
The happiness we seek cannot found through grasping, trying to hold on to things.The happiness we seek cannot be found through getting serious and uptight about wanting things to go in the direction that we think will bring happiness. We are always taking hold of the wrong stick. The point is that the happiness we seek is already here and it will be found through relaxation and letting go and not through struggle.
Does that mean there’s nothing you need to do? the answer is no. I’m reading this amazing book, Start where you are by Pema Chodron, who answers this question. Chodron says we have to practice the five strengths: strong determination, familiarization, seed of virtue, reproach and aspiration. The five strengths are five sources of inspiration to trust that we’ve got all that we need in the palm of our hand!!
Strong determination – Strong determination involves connecting with joy, relaxing, and trusting. It’s a determination to use every challenge you meet as an opportunity to open your heart and soften, determination not to withdraw. One simple way to develop this strength is to develop a strong-hearted spiritual appetite. To do this, some playful quality is needed. You could say “Today is a good day to live” Strong determination not to shut anything out of your heart and not to close up takes a sense of humor and an appetite for enlightenment.
Familiarization – You are here to study yourself. Familiarization means that you don’t have to search any further, and you know it. It’s all in the “pleasantness of the presentness” in the very discursive thoughts you’re having now, in all the emotions that are coursing through you: it’s all in there somehow.
Seed of virtue – Let yourself fall apart into wakefulness. The strength comes from the seed is already there; with warmth and moisture it sprouts and becomes visible to the ground. The practice is about softening or relaxing, but it’s also about precision and seeing clearly. None of that implies searching. Searching for happiness prevents us from ever finding it.
Reproach – This one requires talking to yourself: “Ego, you’ve done nothing but cause me problems for ages. give me a break. I’m not buying it anymore.” Try it in the shower. You should talk to yourself all the time without embarrassment. When you see yourself starting to spin off in frivolity, say to yourself, “Begone, you troublemaker!” Each time as you see your thoughts as empty, let them go, and come back to your breath. Look ahead to the rest of your life and ask yourself what you want it to add up to.
Aspiration – This is a powerful tool. A heartfelt sense of aspiring cuts through negativity about yourself; it cuts through the heavy negativity about yourself. The notion of aspiration is simply that you voice your wishes for enlightenment. You say to yourself, and by yourself things like” May my compassion for myself increase” Aspiration is like a prayer, except that there’s nobody who hears you. It is a way to allow yourself.
All this strengths are about empowering yourself, not about getting what you want. Let’s do this!
Have a great week!
xoxo,
Cristina
