It’s a normal night in your city. You are looking forward to have fun with your friends at a bar. After few drinks you start to get loose. For the first time you begin to look at the crowd since you were busy caching up the first hour with your friends. You see someone staring at you and you feel very attracted to them. You decided to go over there and start chatting with them. Two hours later you are having the time of your life. You feel happy, free and this person makes you feel sexy and very alive. The bar close and you decided to go for another drink to their house. Next thing you know you are naked, having sex with someone you met 3 hours ago. Next day, you’re like “wtf happen?”
Well, you just had a one night stand. What is a one stand? “Hooking up with someone for one night of sex with no strings attached and hoping to never see them again. It is important not to exchange any personal info with them so they can’t track you down and stalk you later.”
Hooking up with someone you relatively don’t know it’s not for everybody. When it comes to this, men and women are poles apart. Guys just want, well, you know, while gals go to bed with the false impression of flattery and a craving for feeling desirable.
Facts found in research
Men:
- Men drop their standards massively for a one-night stand.
- 80 % of men had overall positive feelings after an encounter.
- Typical positive comments from men included: “euphoric,” “excitement and lust,” “I believe that one-night stands are a good way of blowing off steam.”
- For men who reported negative feelings, the prevailing tone was one of emptiness and loneliness.
Women:
- They were not hooking up in an effort to secure a long-term boyfriend, but because they felt flattered by the overnight proposition.
- 54 % of women had positive feelings.
- “Often [women] said things like, ‘I felt so flattered, so happy that he found me attractive. It was so nice to be wanted,'” said researcher Anne Campbell, a psychologist at Durham University in England.
- Women are not well adapted to promiscuity.
- Usually women participate in one night stands on the peak of their menstrual cycle.
- Women predominantly reported “regret at being used,” with additional comments including: “I felt cheap,” “horrified afterward,” and “I felt degraded. Made myself look cheap and easy. Total regret.”
If you are doing this or maybe you’re in a situation you may do this, follow this tips:
- Go to his/her place: heading to his/her place gives you room to flee if things start to head south chemistry-wise or if the person starts being a total psycho. No matter what dampens the flame, an exit plan should always be in the back of your mind in case you have to abandon ship. Leaving is always easier than getting the other person to leave.
- Be safe: Do you really need a reason to be safe? You don’t want to be bringing home any unwanted souvenirs. Use protection and don’t give oral sex. Don’t ruin a perfectly good night. Be safe and get tested regularly, especially if you’re in the habit of having sex with strangers.
- Be adventurous: Probably this is not person you’re going to marry, so leave all the romantic manifestation and get creative.
- Do it once: After leaving a serious relationships, the aftermath usually materializes into a series of one-night stands. There’s a reason for this: couples seek intimacy while strangers seek pleasure. The difference is vast, so be aware when you engage in these short escapades. There’s no need to start dating someone you just had sex with, but if you do, be careful.
The spontaneity of one-night stands can breed carelessness. Don’t ruin your experience by making preventable mistakes. If you don’t like how you feel later, don’t do it. If you do, enjoy the time.
Be safe people!
Have a good weekend!
xoxo,
Cristina
