All about ego…

What is ego? 

Although in everyday language, ego means the extent to which one thinks highly of one’s self, in psychology is means something different. It is an old term, being most popularly by Sigmund Freud in his tripartite model of the mind (id, ego, superego, as “it”, “I” and “above I”). Freud conceived of the ego as the psychological apparatus that regulated sexual and aggressive impulses and navigated the tension between those impulses and the demands and values of society.

Here are the six basic features that are crucial of the functioning of the ego:

1. The degree of agency and self – directness.

Good ego – Individuals see themselves as able to control key aspects of their environment and guide their behavior with purpose. They are able to engage in self-directed behavior effectively guiding their actions toward goals across time, can manage impulses, and are resilient in the face of setbacks.

Poor ego – Individuals don’t have control, experience life as happening to them and not the reverse, have no direction, and often feel dependent on  “fate” or the environment in terms of what happens to them. They also are impulsive responding to the needs of the moment and not inhibiting their immediate desires for longer term goals.

2. The degree of insight.

Good ego – Individuals with high levels of insight know how they feel, what makes them tick, when and why they have conflicts, and what they need to feel fulfilled.

Poor ego – Individuals with poor insight engage in more primitive psychological defenses like denial, and either are clueless about who they are or try to convince themselves they are something they are not.

3. The degree of self – esteem, acceptance, and compassion.

Good ego – Individual respects and values themselves. Being able to accept one’s faults or limitations, and having basic compassionate feelings toward one’s self as a complicated being is extremely important.

Poor ego – Contrary to having a good ego, people with low self – esteem are extremely self-critical, have a lack in acceptance and compassion.

*Emphasized self-compassion as a better way of fostering mental health than trying to directly raise self-esteem.  Example: Saying to yourself, “I have flaws and I had make mistakes, but I’m willing to work on this and be better to myself.” Instead of having self-pity.

4. The degree of empathy with others.

Good ego – Individuals who has the capacity to understand others in a complex way. What this means? Understand others. Individuals know how to  develop more complex, richer, less judgmental relationships with others.

Poor ego – The contrary of that.

5. The degree of integration, purpose and coherence.

Good ego – Individuals are able to put all the pieces together, they know their role in society, knows their meaning in life and what values are important to them.

Poor ego – Individuals who don’t have the components from above will act in erratic and inconsistent ways, and felt vaguely conflicted as a consequence of their actions. They can’t place life in a coherent way.

6. The degree of philosophical and moral development.

To develop the self, one that has purpose and coherence, one must place that in the context of a worldview. As such, to assess ego functioning, one must assess the extent to which an individual has developed a philosophical point of view. The degree of sophistication of that perspective, its complexity and extent. This will give a sense of direction toward what is good and or not. This is a crucial part of ego functioning.

“Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it.” Colin Powell

I know this topic is very complex and when I was reading all this I found myself with a lot of questions. “Did I had a bad ego?, Where I stand in life?”, etc.

I saw myself as a human being that has flaws and make mistakes, where I understood the other, but sometimes I didn’t, where I look for answers, but I didn’t find them. So, I drop everything and decided to accept myself.

I left the barriers go, I started saying I am sorry more, instead of rejecting and feeling proud. I stopped expecting more from others or relying on destiny or “fate”. And I started to love myself and see the good in others… and I developed, for what I think I have, a great ego or in another word, a healthy self -esteem.

Takes time to learn about this and to acknowledge that you may have a poor self-esteem, but on the long haul it’s worth trying to do a better self. Feels great!

Please pass along this article if you feel someone needs improvement on their life.

Have a great day!

xoxo,

Cristina

More on the topics here: The Elements of Ego Functioning