In daily life being too insecure to attempt even small task such as committing to something or speaking honestly to your friends limits your ability to enjoy the time you have in your life.
I completely understand their are times in our lives when we feel a little unsure of performing or saying something that we could regret in the long haul – but I also believe that not doing certain things in life can limit ourselves to be better humans or to learn life lessons. Sometimes we have to take the risk of the unknown.
That’s is why you have to beat that insecurity from within and explore the possibilities their are in your way.
Insecure about your looks
1. Nobody is guilty of the looks they got. You were born with those genes and their is nothing you can do unless you want to do plastic surgery ( go to a therapy first, if this the case). That being said, you have to love yourself and embrace your body.
2. No one is going to look like you! Ins’t that amazing? You are unique. Start with liking one part of your body. As I always say, I think everybody has beautiful eyes.
3. Liking your body starts with a positive attitude about yourself and this comes from within. By only looking at the negative things that are distinct about yourself, you focus on them and neglect your positive qualities. A helpful exercise to get you more comfortable with positive self-talk and to rein in your self-abuse is to tell yourself two sincerely nice things about yourself for every negative thing. They don’t have to be related.
4. You can always improve your looks. Get a new haircut, go to gym, get a tan, buy new clothes. Ask for friends and family what looks better on you.
**Remember: The most important thing is that you love yourself more and you will be more confident about your looks. I remember I used to hate my skinny legs, but as I grown older I find them perfect for my body type. Embrace the beauty you have!
Insecurity in relationships
Insecurity is an unattractive trait. What is universally sexy is the opposite of insecurity, confidence, and it is one of those things that can only be demonstrated, not declared.
1. Build a baseline of trust and respect with your partner. Confiding of those innermost concerns to your partner will bring partners closer.
2. Trust people. One trouble with insecurity is that it keeps you focused on yourself, and relationships grow only when partners can pay attention to each other. You have to be able to communicate your concerns about you or the relationship o your partner. Not doing so will only bring separation of each other.
3. Bye, bye jealousy. The feeling of security is closely related to the ability to trust people and you propensity to jealousy suggests you are quick to perceive threats in others. It might be worth exploring in your own psyche or with a therapist in your why you have difficulty trusting your partner and how you can help your own sense of self. It may have to do with early experiences in your family. In order to establish a real relationship, you have to find a way to overcome a lingering sense of inadequacy and trust that there are good people out there.
***Remember – In order to be in a relationship you have to build a trust with your partner. Being insecure is not an appealing trait to have. Being jealous or controlling to your partner or being insecure of yourself will definitely be a turn off. If you feel you are insecure around them, you must find out where this feeling comes from and find a solution. As I always say, love yourself more and you will be able and capable to have a lovely relationship.
Insecure in taking decisions
In life we have to take decisions, small or big, we have to decide what will would do with certain things. Nothing assure us that everything will be alright if you choose one path over the other. We have to choose what to do!
1. Ask yourself. What is the worst that could happen? And be realistic on your answer.
2. Ask again. What is the best thing that could happen? Try to focus more on this answers rather than the negative ones. Having a positive outlook of the possibles outcomes can make you feel more secure in making the decision.
3. Stop expecting too much. Insecurity often springs from expecting too much. For example if you use to go to every interview and nail it and now you don’t. This doesn’t mean you are not good enough, what it means is that you expect to have the same results you are use to have. Stop beating yourself and have a reality check on what is going on around you.
4. Preventing things can give you more stress. Not making a decision could bring more stress to you. Always follow you instinct and listening to your head. If it feels right, do it.
5. Take action on what you can do. Just the act of taking action gives you a sense of confidence, control, and security. If you can do something about it, then take an action toward change.
***Remember: Don’t be afraid of taking new challenges. If the decision you made didn’t work is not going to be the end of the world. You learn about it and move on.
TIPS
- Lighten up. Practice cutting loose and having fun. Let go and be silly. I assure you you will be a joy to be around.
- Immerse yourself in being positive. Read books, surround yourself with positive people and smile more often.
- Do what makes you happy. In truth, we are what we do — not what we think. Do what is fun, what brings you joy, and what is meaningful to you.
Being a secure person is a lifestyle choice. It happens from the inside out. Every day, practice the steps outlined above. Don’t allow yourself dwell on your insecurities, which is like stepping into quicksand. Enjoy the greatest gift of being alive and living in a world full of beauty and opportunity. All is alright.
xoxo,
Cristina
