Attachment, you aren’t welcome!

It is possible to get attached to people who aren’t in our lives? Yes, it is. If you realized that you have thought the same thing over and over again, not just in the course of a day but every day, then that is attachment.

Personally I have struggle of letting go and detaching myself from people I used to care a lot. It’s not easy. That’s why I want to help with this topic.

So, what can we do?

First we have to understand where the attachment comes from. Usually attachment comes from emotional feelings towards someone. Probably this person made you feel special or different for a time. Probably you haven’t felt this way before and now is difficult to move on.

For example, the other day I was organizing my photos in the computer and I found a picture where I look happy and he was kissing my forehead. All this feelings came back and it was like a storm yelling me “STOP IT”. I started thinking about this person non-stop, for like 1 day. I wanted to know about them and I was obsessing about it…but that was it.

But that is another story (I don’t want to bore you)…  Reality is that the hardest story we meet is letting go the attachment to people that aren’t longer in our lives. I wonder how so many people close chapters in their lives and keep moving on, but for others this task is not easy and they struggle because they feel that something is missing in their lives.

How to treat detachment?

1. Find why you can’t stop thinking about this person – Write down how this person made you feel. Analyze why this person is important in your life. Think about it well. You may open a Pandora’s box here. You may feel a lot of emotions, but you have to go through with it.
2. Don’t suppress how you feel – Holding up how you feel will not help you in the future. You need to do your own closure. If you feel like crying, do so. If you feel frustrated, feel it. We are humans and sometimes situations like this shape us to be better a person.
3. Let it go – By this I mean that you have to stop checking on the person you are attached. No more checking FB, Instagram, old photos in your phone or computer, no more listening to songs, going to the places you shared, etc.…Make new friends, go to new places and have new memories. This doesn’t mean that you will forget about them, but that you will create a new life that doesn’t involve the one you miss.
4. Change your thoughts – Stop saying you can’t, stop saying I can’t live like this anymore, stop saying no. Believe more in yourself. Believe that anything you will do is possible and you will get past through this situation. Your thoughts will always manifest themselves eventually.
5. Forgive– In order to detach yourself you have to forgive yourself. First, because you have obsessed over the past. Second, because you probably blame the other. After that, you need to forgive them too. This will take time, but trust me is the best part.
6. Wish for the best – For you and for the other. Our lives, our hearts and our minds are tricky. Feeling attach to someone who isn’t part of our lives is hard, but you have to wish them the best. Create positive energy to move on. If you want to do my personal favorite: Write a letter to them and burn it. Release the tension and free yourself from attachment.

 Hope this works. Have a wonderful weekend!

xoxo,

Cristina