Are you brave enough to be different?

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” Nelson Mandela 

The majority of us find ourselves somewhere in the middle, wishing to be brave and yet frightened by what is frightening. Either that or we are capable of facing real danger one day, and the next being scared of something comparatively trivial.

For those with chronic illness and stage performing, testing their points may come every day. For those who confront violence or natural disaster, the test come once in a lifetime. Whatever the circumstances, when someone who appears ordinary is brave, it gives us all hope. In this quick moment is how we measure ourselves as human beings.

“ALS takes away your body, but it does not take away your mind, and if you are determined and fortunate, it does not have to take way your life…I may even be able to write code…even from and immobile body. That will be a life very worth living”, Hal Finney, a computer scientist who was diagnose with ALS, amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, which is a fatal disease.

I remember as a kid my dad bought me a bike. I was so excited. He teach how to manage the bike with the training wheels and I knew once day I had to take them off.  I was so scared of falling and hurting myself, but my dad encourage me to be brave and ride the bike without that support. After many days of being scared, I try it and I felt free of my fears. Yes, I fall and yes, I cry because it hurt, but I wasn’t afraid of trying again anymore.

Since we are kids we are exhorted to be brave -about nightmares, a first day of school or riding the bike for the first time. As we grow older and we become more busy all the time, we forget to be brave and experience that liberating effect that we use to had when we were kids.

“I know I was brave but you always think it’s someone else who’s brave; I just thought it was something that I had to do and if i was in that situation again, I would de the same. And if that is bravery then so be it, but I’ve never really quantified as that”, Ruth Millington, a British lawyer who saved seven lives in an earthquake in Bam, Iran.

How you can be brave?

I’m not an expert on this, but I sure know how it work for me. I have been very independent my whole life. I stop being less afraid and I decided to do what makes me happy. In this road, I hurt people because I always do what is best for me. When I say hurt, it means that I disappointed a few people, because they though I was going to what it was best for them. Get it? So, is not the point of being selfish, it’s the point of choosing to live a better life without having that little voice in your head, saying “Don’t do it, something could happen.”

With that said, here are a few simple steps to achieve a more brave life:

1. Think out of the box – Stop hearing all the negatives from others or what you see or read about life. Do what is good for you. Do you want to move to the Amazon and help the natives there? Do it! Why are you listening to that friend that says “Oh that is very dangerous for you, you can die.” Think outside the box and choose what you want not what others think is best for you.

2. Do something – If you can help others, do it. If you can change a situation do it. Yes, sometimes things don’t have the result that we expected, but is the intention of doing. We cannot be afraid of making decisions and be trap with resentment our whole life with the “What if?”.

3. Stop being afraid – The fear of change can damage a good future for you. We came to this life to learn, fall and move on. It’s the things like this that shape us to be better human begins. Every time you have a negative thought, you have to block it and think positive. You need to move forward not backwards.

4. Give yourself more credit of the things you do – You decided to save lives and be a doctor, be proud of that -that’s brave! You move away from your loves ones to life a better life, that’s brave. You struggle and gave a happy face after knowing you had a disease? I wanna hug you because you are brave! Sometimes people think less of themselves and they don’t give enough credit for the things they have accomplish. You don’t need anyone recognition, you only need to know that you decided to look the positive outcome and decided to be a brave person.

Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience.” Paulo Coelho.

Sometimes people think that being brave is only among soldiers, but is more than that. Either is a situation people need your help or being in a state of vulnerability where you can perform your best. Everybody have to stop being scare. Maybe this happens because they watch the news all the time or maybe they have influence from other people who are afraid of change, but the thing they have in common is, the lack of courage to do things they want in order to achieve their happiness. Let’s change this and let’s be the change we need in the world. Stop being a spectator and do something great and brave in your life. Be different.

And as for me, I always follow my grandma advice, “Cris do what makes you happy. Don’t be afraid. Don’t cry. Be strong. Enjoy life at the fullest, meet people that help you be a better version of you and learn something of every situation, even if is a bad one.” I love her and this statement makes me be more brave and more willing to take life and drink it.

Wish you all a great weekend!

xoxo,
Cristina

*Examples of being brave found in Psychology Today, August 13′ issue.